Broken
by blueeyedoncorhynchus
Summary: One-shot based on the song, "Your Side of the Bed" by Little Big Town. Sometimes, no words can fix something when it's broken that badly. Going to bed at different times, muffling your sobs in a pillow, feeling as though you're both a million miles apart even though you're right next to each other...I've been there. Story ignores the whole random Nicole is married storyline.


Notes: Apologies for all the angst. I just went through a breakup recently which wasn't as bad as the one this story is based off of, but still makes you reminisce about previous relationships and maybe re-evaluate what you want out of a partner. Also, I'm still not over the whole Waverly-kissed-Rosita thing since I think Nicole deserves a bit more so this is what happened. Brighter days (and fanfics) to come in the future :)

 _Staring at the ceiling, lying here all alone_

 _I said a prayer for you, then I said one of my own_

 _But you don't reach for me, when you lie down quietly_

 _Tell me how, how'd you get so far away_

 _All we have left are the memories of the love we made_

 _Are you sleeping with your own regrets_

 _On your side of the bed_

The days after…after she had told Nicole about Rosita, after she had broken her heart in a way that she never thought she ever would, things didn't just go back to normal. They were still together but it was different. Everything had changed.

Everything felt empty.

Hollow.

Lonely.

Waverly watched her at the sheriff's department and the fire that was once in Nicole's eyes was gone. She looked like an empty shell of a person whenever she looked at Waverly. That love and devotion that had been there was absent, like it had morphed into something else…into a barrier between them.

This betrayal ran deep. So deep that it cut Waverly like a million tiny knives whenever the redhead's eyes fell upon her.

Resentment.

That's what it was. That's the way that Nicole looked at her. And yet she could see that the redhead was fighting her own internal battle. She didn't want to treat Waverly this way. She didn't want their relationship to change. She hadn't asked for any of this.

She had lied to her about having the DNA test results, but the blowout after had been all Waverly. Waverly had been the one to ignore her first and then say snide remarks to her. She wouldn't let Nicole apologize, ignored her texts and phone calls, and then had made the choice to run off with Rosita to the spa where… _it_ had happened. Waverly had cheated on her. In a rash decision coupled with bubbles and some seductive science talk, she had completely changed their relationship.

And now, Nicole didn't trust her even though she desperately wanted to. She had said they could still try, but the betrayal hit her hard. And they had just been in limbo ever since. Trying to be polite, but walking on eggshells around each other. Not really sure what to say or what not to say.

Waverly groaned as Wynonna set the case file in her hands.

"I need to know what Nicole asked the homeowner," Wynonna said.

"Maybe you should…"

"Are you afraid of your girlfriend?"

 _Girlfriend_ , is that what she still was? Because right now, she felt like something else. Like a painful reminder of what she did that night. Waverly let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"Well, we…"

Wynonna looked at her skeptically.

"I'll go," Waverly replied. She took a deep breath as she walked out of the BBD office and to the front desk.

She spotted Nicole instantly. Her face pale, her hair slightly disheveled, bags under her eyes from the fitful sleep she had had. Whether that was from the nightmares about the Widow attacking her or because of Waverly, Waverly wasn't sure.

"Hey," Waverly said cautiously, leaning over the front desk. Nicole looked up at her, expressionless. No smile. She missed her smile already.

"Hey," Nicole quietly replied. "Need something?"

"Just had a question about this case." Nicole rose and walked towards the front desk. Waverly pushed the file towards her, her eyes scanning the redhead's face. But Nicole just looked down at the file. Waverly took a deep breath and was consumed by the scent of Nicole. The slight hint of vanilla from the shampoo that she remembers helping her buy one weekend. The cinnamon from her breath mints that she liked to have after her coffee. The same mints Waverly often tasted during their kisses. The shea butter and coconut from the lotion that Waverly had rubbed all over her one night as they spent hours in bed just enjoying each other.

A knot formed in Waverly's stomach as she thought of that day. It had been a blend of playful kisses, touching, talking, and sex that seemed to last for hours. Not a care in the world but each other as they lay wrapped up in the sheets, bodies pressed together, warmth coursing through both of them as the snow fell outside. And now…Waverly winced at the heartache thinking those times were no more than a distant memory.

Nicole's voice broke her from the memory.

"The homeowner said the house showed no signs of a break-in, but a few items were missing. They assumed it was a previous owner, someone with a key," Nicole said. Her eyes went back to Waverly's and the flat expression on her face hit Waverly like a truck. Where was the love that was once there? The lust that she once felt whenever she looked at Waverly? The googly eyes that Wynonna had once teased them about?

Gone…

"Thanks," Waverly said, her head dropping to the file.

"Hey," Wynonna said behind Waverly, causing her to jump. "I need to go on this stakeout with Dolls. I don't want you to be alone tonight with this guy on the lose."

"Oh," Waverly replied. "Umm, I guess I'll just stay here."

"All night?" Wynonna asked.

"You can stay at my place," Nicole said flatly. Waverly stared at her. She hadn't said 'with me' but rather 'my place.' She searched for some sort of meaning or softness to her suggestion, but there was nothing.

"Good. You'll be safe with Nicole," Wynonna said, kissing Waverly quickly on the cheek. "Call me if you need anything."

Waverly looked at the floor as Wynonna walked off. Nicole went back to her desk and began working again. Waverly looked over at her.

"I'm off after 6. Come by whenever," Nicole said, eyes still on the computer. Waverly stared at her blankly.

"Okay," she said softly as she turned and walked back to the BBD office. She didn't turn back or she would've seen Nicole's shoulders drop and her eyes stare after the brunette as she walked away.

Nicole's house felt foreign, unfamiliar. It was exactly the same as the last time she had seen it albeit with a new coffee table to replace the one Waverly had broken when she crashed on to it during the fight with Widow Mercedes. Waverly almost felt like an intruder as she crossed into the house. Calamity Jane even looked at her with a look of disdain as she set her bag down.

"You hungry?" Nicole asked, moving towards the kitchen.

"Not really," Waverly said.

"Me either," Nicole replied. "Maybe just a drink then."

Waverly sat on the couch and put her hands in her lap. This was going to be a long night. At least at the office, they had a chance to catch their breath and the disappointment and anger didn't linger in the air. But now, they were alone. Alone and broken…alone and not touching…alone and far away…alone and quiet….too quiet…too broken.

Nicole returned to the living room with two glasses of wine. She handed one to Waverly without a word and then sat on the couch next to the brunette, far enough away that they weren't touching, but not at the distant end of the couch.

Waverly took a drink of the wine and sat, staring at the TV that wasn't on. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nicole took a drink and let out a deep sigh as she leaned back on the couch. The redhead rubbed her shoulders with her right hand and let out a stiff groan as she hit a sensitive spot.

Before, Waverly would've told her to turn and crawled behind her, working out those knots in her shoulder that she developed after leaning over her desk for too long. Before…

But now, Waverly just sat in place. She saw Nicole lean forward and set her wine glass on the coffee table before looking over some reports that she had brought home from the office. She looked over to see Nicole studying the reports, taking long sips from the wine glass.

"I think I might go shower," Waverly said quietly.

"Okay," Nicole said, not looking over at her. The brunette sighed and then got up, moving around the coffee table and up the stairs. Nicole looked up and watched her go. When Waverly was out of sight, she downed the rest of her glass and went to the kitchen to refill it.

Waverly sat on Nicole's bed on what was once her side. Was it still her side? She rubbed her wet hair with the towel. She could hear the faint sound of music coming from downstairs. Nicole must've turned something on to fill the silence. Waverly reached over and grabbed Nicole's pillow. She pushed it against her face and took in a deep breath, breathing in Nicole's scent that lingered on the pillow. She squeezed it tightly against her body and couldn't hold back the tears that started falling. She wished that it was the redhead here now, enveloping her. That they were fixed and everything could go back to the way that it was.

But she had broken them. This was all her fault, and that's what caused the tears to burst from her eyes. She muffled her sobs with Nicole's pillow as her shoulders shook violently and she felt like the entire world had crumbled all around her.

Hours later, she felt the bed shift beside her as Nicole laid down.

"It's just me," Nicole said quietly as she saw Waverly stir and look over her shoulder. Waverly had shifted onto her left side and was still clutching Nicole's pillow.

Nicole laid on her back for a moment, staring at the ceiling, fumbling with the remaining pillow on her side of the bed. She saw Waverly curled up with her other one and couldn't bear to ask for it back. She glanced over to see the brunette curled up into a tight ball, the towel partly under her hair, forgotten after her shower.

She took a deep breath, resisting the urge to reach out and envelope the smaller woman in a big hug. Touching her now would just make her feel even more empty…even more broken. Because Waverly's touches couldn't fix the heartache right now.

She turned onto her right side and stared at the wall. The sorrow lingering in the room.

"Waverly," Nicole barely breathed out.

The brunette wasn't sure if she had actually heard Nicole say her name or if she had dreamed it. She paused her breathing to see if Nicole made another sound.

"Are you still awake?" Nicole asked barely above a whisper. She didn't dare to turn over and look at her to see.

"Yeah," Waverly replied quietly.

There was silence between them as Waverly waited anxiously to hear what Nicole had to say. She heard the redhead take a deep breath.

"I don't think I can do this anymore," Nicole said, her voice cracking part way through.

Tears fell from Waverly's eyes at the redhead's words. She was ending it…ending them. Ending whatever this was because the heartache was too much. Being in the room with her was too much.

She couldn't do this…couldn't be with her…couldn't look at her…couldn't forgive her. Not yet…

"I'm sorry," Nicole said with a whimper. Both women felt the bed shaking from their sobs but neither one made an effort to comfort the other. There wasn't anything left to say right now that would make anything better. So they both left it there…in silence.

Nicole wasn't sure when she had fallen asleep, but she felt the pounding in her head from the crying as she slowly opened her eyes. She was still turned towards the wall, her body aching from the lack of movement. Fear of accidentally touching Waverly in her sleep. Accidentally cuddling with her out of habit.

She pushed herself up on her elbow and looked over her shoulder. The bed was empty. Waverly was gone.

Nicole felt the tears begin to fall again as she turned and grabbed Waverly's pillow, pushing it against her face. She curled into a ball on the bed, her sobs filling the quiet room.

"Waverly…" she whispered in between her sobs. But Waverly was gone…


End file.
